Weight loss interrupted…and I’m ok with that (for once!)

So September has been an interesting month in that I really haven’t tried to lose weight. It’s been more about maintaining weight. I have eaten a few things here and there that I’ve missed.  I just go right back to eating low carb right after that. My biggest thing is cheesecake. Oh Lordy, cheesecake. I threw my husband a 50th bday party, and just like I said in my last blog regarding my cousin’s bday party, I did good on the dinner part but lost it with desserts. I really miss sweet desserts. Someone brought my dessert “crack” which is cheesecake. I’ve had a slice a day for the past few days. I’m looking forward to it being gone because the temptation is great.  However, all this has shown me that I can maintain the weight, which is good. Now onto getting back into ketosis and losing some more weight!

I’ve noticed something really important about myself this month. I’m at a place where I am definitely loving my body. It’s not perfect but I feel good about it. It really makes a big difference in my confidence. I still have more weight to lose, I have my poochy belly and loose skin, but I’m happy with the progression. I look back at where I started and cannot believe that I’ve come this far! Yay, go me!!

I have had more skeptical people coming up to me and seriously asking what I’m doing because they want to see results like I’ve been getting. I’ve noticed that the people that were my loudest detractors are the ones who are coming forward asking how to do keto.  It’s been good to see them start it and see results and be happy with that. As I tell them, “weigh to go!”.

But seriously, I need to get back and stay on track. My busy season at work is coming up. The next few months are not only holidays but it’s filled with family bday parties here at my house so I need to get in top condition for that. I really want to be 170 by Christmas. Kind of a Christmas present to myself. I think I deserve that.

Update on my daughter: she hasn’t been doing low carb or keto but she has been trying to cut out as much flour in her food as possible. She’s noticed that her stomach issues are not bothering her when she eats gluten free. So now she knows that what causes the pains and can decide if she wants that gluten free pizza or regular pizza. She is in control of those choices. Plus she’s feeling a lot better, energy wise, and can see the difference in her body too.



Why hello there, Happy Place!!

Haven’t blogged in almost a month! So much happening this past month. Took my son back to his dorm for the start of this junior year. He loves living in his college town and was happy to be back. I truly understand it because when I lived in the same town, going to the same University, I felt like I was so alive! Those years is when I truly started blossoming and I can see it’s having the same effect on my son so I encourage it. I do miss him so much but his future is so filled with possibilities that I focus on that.

My sis-in-law and nieces came to visit the following week after that. My oldest niece, “S”, was supposed to come to college in my state and I was going to take her to her dorm and set her up in it, but there was a snag in the plans and it fell through. They still came to visit though and I was very happy since I missed them so much! They’ve been gone for about 3 years and it’s been hard not seeing them pretty much every day. Next planned visit with them is in 2 years, maybe. Going to try to make it to my niece’s, “L”, graduation but my son is graduating college that month too so we’ll see if we can make it.

With everything going on, I haven’t made weight loss a priority. I still made sure I ate keto. But I wasn’t focused on it. I have reintroduced some things into my eating, like beans and potatoes but I may have gotten carried away with the potatoes. I actually got down to 189 but then shot back up to 196, which is where I started the week. I focused and got myself down to good place, pretty close to 189 again.

I may have thrown myself out of ketosis with yesterday though. My cousin had a birthday party and, while I stuck to keto with dinner, I didn’t with desserts. I usually have complete willpower with desserts but yesterday was a fail….kind of. My cousin is an amazing baker but she hasn’t baked in a couple of years because she’s had weight loss surgery and has to eat keto too. She did make an exception for her birthday. She had cheesecake and made 2 cakes. I had a slice of cheesecake and ate some of the buttercream frosting off the cake. I did not eat the cake itself because it had flour and I did not want the pain that comes when I eat flour, but my mom ate the cake and left her frosting, which I ate. It was sooooo good!  But let me tell you, when the sugar hit, it hit me hard. I went into the theater room and took a nap! Not used to having so much sugar anymore.

I did have some crazy experiences this month though. I have been mistaken for a completely different person a few times. I’ve had a few male coworkers tell me that they see me, think ‘who’s the hottie?” and then realize it’s me when I get closer or turn around. We ended up having a laugh at that. My husband saw the back of me and realized it was his wife that was the sexy woman he was looking at. That one really made me laugh. He said it’s like having a whole new woman. That got a chuckle out of me. I do feel like a different person now. I feel like the old me. My confidence is back, my mind is clear (due to the omission of sugar) and I just feel amazing!  I’ve had more people come up to me asking about keto. I give them the basics and point them to some websites that give more detail and support. I don’t want to come off like a lunatic on a fad diet but I really am such a fan and walking billboard of the success of keto.

Also I went shopping at Target because I saw that they clearanced out their Merona line, guess they’re getting rid of that line.  So I went and tried on a bunch of shirts and dresses. I grabbed size XL in everything and it was all too big!! I was only able to find 1 thing in a large and that was too big too!  So a few days later I went to another Target and grabbed it all in size large and I was shocked that a few things were still too big. I grabbed them in medium and they fit. Oh wow!! Happy dance in the fitting room! I don’t know if it’s vanity sizing but let me tell you, that was the boost I needed to eat better that week. While on the subject of clothes, my cousin’s party was Star Trek themed. I had a shirt I got from geek subscription box so I got it out to see if it would work. It was a size 3xl and I remember when that fit me tight. It was way too baggy on me now but I had nothing else Star Trek to wear. So I went onto YouTube and looked at some DIY videos on making over baggy shirts. I ended up cutting about 6 inches off the bottom, cut half off of the sleeves, cut a triangle shape off each of the bottom sides and was left with a cute shirt that looked way better on me. Still baggy-ish but it a cute way. I have tons of geeky shirts that I am going to redo like this so I can wear them! Thanks YouTube!

So now we are at the end of August. I did hit my goal of 189, I’m in the 180’s!!  I’m going to aim for 185 for the end of September. This month will be the kickoff of what I call, the “Birthday Months”. My husband’s 50th is in a couple of weeks and then every month after that has a few family birthdays and we have the parties here at my house so food temptation! But by hosting the parties, I control the food so I will make sure to have keto food too.

Starting weight: 242

Current weight: 189

Total weight loss: 53 lbs!!

Weigh to go…that’s my motto now

This has been a very interesting month so far. While I’ve only lost 2 lbs this month, I can really tell from my clothes that I’ve lost inches.  The pants and shirts that I bought a couple of months back are baggy on me now.  The belt I was using is now too big, this will be the 3rd belt I will have bought in my journey. Even my shoes are getting loose! Oh and I hit the 50 pound mark. YES!!! 50 freaking pounds! I am so dang proud of myself!

It’s crazy to look at my body and see it shrinking. My legs are leaner than ever. I used to be athletic and have really strong solid thighs and calves.  Now they’re so thin, I’ve never seen them this thin. It kind of threw me off at first. I also have no butt. I know, that sounds weird but since I’ve pretty much have not exercised through this whole keto thing, I don’t have a butt. Gotta get my squats on!

Another plus that I’ve experienced this month is that I am really liking how I look in pictures, mirrors, etc. I’m looking pretty good and it’s showing in pictures. I know, that sounds conceited but it’s not. It’s me realizing that I’m getting to where I’m happy with myself.  I went to QT and got out of my car to throw something in the trash. I caught my reflection in the glass and was taken aback when I realized that it was me! My cousin and I were talking about how all this weight loss has affected us. I told her that I don’t still see the “fat girl” in the mirror when I see my new self. I look in the mirror and think “that’s the girl I knew! About time she came back!”. It’s like I’m rediscovering myself. It’s doing wonders for my self confidence. There’s an inner calmness to me now since I’m more like my old self. That internal struggle is going away. I feel more in control of myself, in a way.

So many new discoveries. I look forward to it all. And I am not taking any of it for granted. I used to think that I was fat back in the day. At 130/140 pounds I thought I was fat. I realize now that I wasn’t. I was buying into societies conception that women have to be model thin. Now I know that I was in great shape and I am doing what I can to get back to it. Heck, at 192 I am feeling amazing! I can only imagine that it’s going to get better from here on out.

Starting weight: 242

Current: 192

Total lost: 50!!!!




6 months in…

My 6th month of doing keto is officially over.  I went from 242 to 194. 48 lbs total. That is way more than I thought I’d lose. I didn’t realize how fast I’d lose weight. Now that I’m below 200, it’s taking longer to lose weight, but I’m ok with that as long as there is progress. I am feeling so amazing now. No more stomach issues, that is the best part of it all! I can go out and not worry about getting sick and having to rush home. I wish I would have known about this ages ago!

The month of June was a crazy one. I went on vacation for 2 weeks, saw my family and friends. Then had to deal with my uncle passing away and dealing with all that. I got to see more family because of that and it was good to see family relationships reforged. So something good did come out of his passing. I’m going to use his memory and strive to achieve more goals. I can hear his voice urging me to get out of my comfort box and take the chances I’ve been on the fence about. So thank you, Tio!

I lost a few pounds this month. 199-194. I think at this point that 5 lbs a month is an attainable goal. One thing that my keto group taught me is that while we lose weight very quickly in the beginning (if we were really overweight to begin with), once we get smaller and closer to our goals, it takes longer for the weight to come off. I think I’m there. No more “10 lbs lost in a week” phase. However, I can tell the difference in my clothes even if the scale isn’t moving and I love that feeling! My stomach and legs is where I’m noticing the difference right now.

I went to a graduation for a family friend.  They haven’t seen me in  months. I was talking with the wife and she tells me “my husband came back after saying hi and told me “OMG you need to go see her because she looks totally different now!”.  I guess I do. I had on a dress and these amazing wedge heeled shoes (which make me so tall and I feel like Wonder Woman in!).  Oh and that’s another thing, I’m wearing dresses again. I love dresses but being overweight kept me from wearing them since I had this big belly and my legs were so huge that I couldn’t close my legs properly. Now, I am rocking those dresses and crossing my legs!

I’ve also had about 5 people come to me asking about keto. They’ve seen my success and have asked in the past about keto. They’ve been researching it and are ready to commit. One of my closest friends admitted that she’s been doing it for a month and has lost 20 lbs already! That was so awesome to hear! I am happy to be helping my friends get to a healthy place in their lives.

So since it’s the beginning of July I need to give myself a goal. 5 lbs. I want to hit 189 by the end of July. This means 2 things: #1 I will have officially hit 50 lbs lost and, #2 I will be in the 180’s. I haven’t been in the 180’s since I was pregnant with my daughter (and she’s 13 now!) .  Let’s do this!!!

Starting weight: 242

Current weight: 194

Total weight lost: 48lbs

Ah I’ve missed you keto flu…NOT!

Yes, keto flu is real and it came back. Guess that’s what happens when you throw yourself out of ketosis and go back into keto life. It lasted for almost a week and I stored that memory to remind me if I ever think of cheating again.  I was reading how some people have a cheat day every couple of weeks and I can’t understand that. I could not go through keto flu that often. I figure every few months, maybe, but not every couple weeks. Let’s be honest: now that I’ve tasted how good gluten free pizza can be, I’m gonna have some every few months. Maybe as a reward for hitting major milestones? We’ll see.

So as I last wrote, I’ve been stalled. This seems to be a pattern. Good for about 3 weeks, stalled for 2-3 weeks. I take it back to basics and I start losing again. So this past week has been back to basics, keeping it really simple. Can I just say how much I love hard boiled eggs?! Portable and so keto friendly!

I started Monday at 199 and on Wednesday hit 195. That’s great since my goal for the end of June was 195. Then I got devastating news on Thursday morning. My beloved uncle passed away. He’s only a few years older than me. He was killed in a car accident instantly. Luckily, the kids and his wife were not in the car with him but the kids did see it happen in the rearview mirror and ran to their dad. They got to him first. My heart hurts to think of what they went through.

As life happens, my uncle and I weren’t as close now as we used to be. Like I said, we’re not that far in age. My mom is his oldest sister and helped raise him. After their mother died, she became his honorary mom. My mother is having a hard time processing this, she said it’s like having a child pass away (She still has a brain aneurysm so we have to make sure this stress doesn’t make that worse). My childhood was filled with hanging out with my 3 young uncles and bugging them. They were so good at letting their young niece hang out with them. Back then I looked at them more like brothers than uncles.

As we got older, I kinda veered away from them, our lives became so different.  They got married young, had kids and started a business. I became the niece who went to college and was so independent and determined to remain single. They got married in their early 20’s and I got married at 35 so we were definitely on different life tracks. They were still there if I needed them and in the past couple of years, we’ve talked more since they worry about my mom and they call me to see if I need them.  We saw each other at family bdays, holidays and such. But the whole family dynamic is so different now ever since my grandma passed. No more hanging out and them playing Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” for me to educate me on the importance of their music.

My uncle was a great man. He and my other uncle have built a great company and that work has allowed them to do so much for others. Very caring, generous and a great listener and talker. I have never heard anyone say anything bad about my uncle. Great testament to his life and I will strive to be more like him in that aspect of being a good humanitarian.

I guess I’m saying that I’m numb. We always hear how life can change just like that but this really drove it home for all of us. Please hug your family and friends and say “I love you” more often. My family never used to say that but for about the past 10 yrs we say goodbye and “Love you” more often without embarrassment. I have peace knowing that my last words to my uncle were “Love you Tio”.

Now we start the part of our lives without him. Doesn’t matter if we’re ready or not, we have to start.

Current weight: 195

Starting weight: 242

Total lost: 47 lbs….and a huge piece of my heart

Best vacation ever!!

My family finally took a vacation…for a week…in Oregon.  We are not vacation people. We don’t travel. We are, for the most part, homebodies. Except for my daughter, she’s that one that wants to see everything and everyone.  If I take vacation days at work, it’s 3 days max because by day 4 I’m ready to go back to work.

The only reason I took a long vacation is because my niece (who is my mini me) was graduating from high school and I wanted to really see that. They used to live by us (and with us for a short while) and we were really involved in their lives. They moved away a few years back and I’ve missed being a part of their daily lives.  We had an opportunity to make this vacation happen so I ran with it. Plus my best friend moved to Portland a couple of years back so we squeezed in a visit with them too.

We flew to Portland, rented a car, spent the night with my friend then drove across Oregon to see my family. It was so awesome to see everyone and to witness the graduation. Education is a high priority on my list so that was a personal high for me. (She’s going to college in AZ so I’ll get to see her more too!). My kids had a ball hanging out with their cousins too. They really miss seeing each other all the time. I got to see my brother who I miss like crazy. Felt good having everyone together again.

Then we drove back to Portland to stay with my friend who took us to the Tillamook Cheese Factory. As a keto gal, this was awesome! So many cheeses! Then we drove to Cannon Beach and had lunch at Mo’s Seafood restaurant. If you’re ever in the area, Mo’s is so tasty!! Plus it’s right on the beach, which we hung out at after lunch. My kids saw the ocean for the first time. It was awe inspiring to see the ocean.

We were busy from the moment we woke up until we went to bed (which was late). 4-6 hrs sleep a night. It was so fun!! Now we’re home and it’s so good to sleep in my own bed. I have the next couple of days off to recover. I’m glad I did that instead of going back to work immediately. I work one day and then have the weekend off, so I planned that right.

Now onto the keto part of this: I stuck to keto pretty well. I had the best chef salad in Enterprise, OR at a place called Heavenly’s. I did finally have a cheat day, after being on keto since 1-1-17. My best friend knows I have to eat gluten free so she found gluten free pizza and gluten free cake. I didn’t feel guilty eating it since I hit my goal of 199. It was delish!!! The cake came from Nothing Bundt cakes so I know I can get it here when I want cake. That’s the only time I strayed from keto. I know I threw myself out of ketosis but it’s ok, after all, it’s vacation, right? I’m back on the keto wagon and praying that I don’t go through the dreaded keto flu.

After a week of no scale, I stepped on mine this morning curious to see how I did. Drumroll, please: no weight loss but no weight gain either!!! Yay!!  I’ve been stalled for the past 2.5 weeks at 198. Yet I’ve noticed while on vacation that my clothes are looser. I’d rather take that over weight loss anyday.

One great thing I noticed is that I actually liked myself in the all the vacation pics we took. I look great in them! I haven’t liked myself in pictures for the past 10 years but I look good in them. My sister-in-law took this pic of me and I really liked it. As any fat person will tell you, it’s better to be standing up than sitting because sitting makes you look extra fat. I’m sitting down and doing a “seductive pose” on this rock and I don’t look fat. Oh I was so happy when I saw that!

Lake Wallowa

So happy with this pic that I’m going to make a print for my house. After years of hating pictures it’s so nice actually liking pictures of myself.

So this vacation was the best one ever. I saw family and friends who are family. My soul is happy now.

Current weight: 198

Starting weight: 242

Total lost: 44 pounds

Getting used to this…

I’m having a ball getting used to how I am now. I feel like more of the old me is coming back but now I appreciate things more. I used to feel fat sometimes when I was younger. Now I realized that I wasn’t, it was just that society imposed these thoughts on women if we weren’t a size 4. So now I take my weight loss successes and enjoy them. I’m beginning to enjoy clothes shopping again. My confidence level is through the roof now too.

I posted a video on FB from last year. I was trying the “Go live” feature. In this video you can really see the difference in my face. It was full, round and double chin was strong. I had so many people coming up to me the next day saying that they didn’t realize how big the change in me was until they saw that video. They pretty much saw me everyday so the change wasn’t that evident.  I then would tell them the story of how I was washing my face and felt a bump on my jawline. I thought “omg is it a tumor?!” (side note: a friend of mine had a lump on his jawline and it turned out to be cancerous so that’s why I thought that).  Then I realized, nope, it’s just my jawbone, the double chin seemed to disappear overnight. I’m still a little freaked out when I feel that curve under my jawline.

I had another “didn’t recognize you” moment this week. I went to a meeting this week and saw someone who’s in the group who I hadn’t seen in about a month and a half. After the meeting I went over to say hi. He told me that when he first saw me walk in, he was wondering who I was. It wasn’t until after he saw my mom behind me that it hit him who I was. I told him that I saw the double take look on his face and was wondering what that was all about. We had a good laugh about it.

I did have someone say that they’re shocked that I talk about my weight loss so openly. I snapchat about it all the time. I say my weight..out loud. I am not embarrassed about it. It’s a fact and I’m proud of how far I’ve come. As a society, we’re taught that a lady never talks about her weight. Really?! I’ve learned not to be embarrassed about stuff like that. When we talk about things, sometimes people will tell you their experiences or have questions if they’re going through it too. We learn from each other. I’ve had people come up and ask about keto. If they’re interested, I point them to where I learned about it. I’ve also had some people give me ideas on how to better my keto recipes. It’s all about learning from each other and supporting each other.

Ok, time for the weigh in. I lost 1 pound this week but I have noticed a difference in my clothes. Everything fits looser. I bought a few shirts last week and a couple are too big already. Good thing they were only $5 each.  So I will take that 1 pound difference and take joy in the fact that physically I see a change for the better.

Starting weight: 242

Current weight: 198

Total lost: 44 pounds!!


Drumroll please…199

199 is finally here!!! It’s been almost 2 weeks since I last posted and I was 202 then. I pretty much was stalled at 200 for the entire time. I just kept eating keto and had faith in the fact that it would happen. In the meanwhile, I could tell that I was losing inches because my clothes were getting looser. Have faith in the system.

199 is my first major goal in my journey. My next is 175, then 160, then it will go down 10 lbs every time because I know it will be harder as the number gets lower. I don’t know how low I want to go. I will be happy with 160. I never really liked it when I was below 135-140 when I was thinner. It was too thin. I’ll make that call when I get there. I’m older and I don’t know how 140 will look on my now.

My treat when I hit 199 was going to be a gluten free pizza but now I’ve changed my mind. I know that pizza will throw me out of ketosis. I’ve worked hard to stay in ketosis and it will take time to get back into it. Plus do I want to go through possible keto flu? No, no I don’t. Plus honestly, temptation isn’t there for it. I picked up a couple of pizzas for the kids and, while the smell was heavenly,  I wasn’t really tempted. I did snag a pepperoni from the top of it but then my stomach hurt afterwards. I forgot, cross-contamination. So that helps with “no temptation”.

We’re going on vacation in 2 weeks and I need to buy some pants because it’s going to be cold in Oregon compared to our heat here in Arizona. All my pants are way too baggy so shopping time. I bought 2 so far. I also bought a gorgeous dressy dress and a casual sleeveless dress. I haven’t worn dresses in at least a decade. I used to wear them all the time but they didn’t look good on me when I was overweight. Now, I am so rocking them. I also tried on a dress I bought last year. I saw it in the store and figured “if I ever lose the weight, it will look so good!”.  I put it on and it fit!! Then I had to go and buy shoes for the dresses. Always something.

So 1st major goal is met. Plus I met my May goal! Pretty dang proud of myself. Gonna ride this high for a while.

Starting weight: 242

Current weight: 199

Total lost: 43 lbs!!

April update…

So I started April at 210 and my goal was 199. I didn’t hit it. I admit that 11 lbs in one month was unrealistic but I’m always up for a personal challenge. Unfortunately, I actually had gained some weight in the past week. Here’s how it went down.

I was doing so good until this last week and a half. I hit 203 then it all went crazy. I didn’t cheat food-wise.  Instead I ate too much. The weather here in AZ is going back and forth between gorgeous and really warm.  72 one day, 99 the next. Every time the weather changes, my body goes through this horrible adapting period.  I get super tired, I sleep all the time and my body hurts everywhere. My joints start to protest. I take comfort in food. I actually saw the scale hit 210. It hovered between 205 and 207 for a few days but it actually hit 210. I panicked!  I worked so hard and it hurt my soul to see the scale move up like that. But then I gathered my thoughts and said “Self, this is the Year of Accountability. What are we doing? What can we change? Make those changes”. I realized I was eating too much food. Oh and the sugar free candy was not helping. Sugar alcohols stall me big time!!

So it was time for a game plan. No more sugar free candies. Really understand what I’m putting into my body. Make sure to get some healthy fats in everyday. I also decided to try apple cider vinegar. Some fellow group members suggest this to help with a stall. So I started and OMG that stuff is horrible. I do 8 oz of water, 1 teaspoon of ACV, lemon juice and a little bit of Sweet N Low so it kinda tastes like lemonade. I gulp it all down in 2 gulps. Otherwise I can’t do it, it really is bad. Some people do 2 tablespoons of AVC, how?! I do this drink once in the morning and once at night so 2 TEASPOONS total for the day. This is my 3rd day doing it and I went from 207 to 202. That’s 40 lbs lost!!

So there we go. April 30th. 202.  I’ll take that. I’m going to make 199 my May goal. I have a lot going on to get ready for vacation at the end of the month so I’m going to keep on track with my diet and not have an unattainable goal this month. Got my May Game Face on!!

Starting weight: 242

Current weight: 202

Total lost: 40!!!

UPDATE: weighed myself the morning of May 1st and hit 200!! 1 more pound and that first major goal is met!!!

Do I know you…

I went to an event for my daughter and I had a few people comment on my weight loss. That always makes my day but that wasn’t as crazy as what happened earlier today. This morning I was at work and I saw this little old woman that works there that is really sweet. I waved hello as I was approaching her but noticed that she had this confused look on her face. I started saying hi and she looked at me and then looked at my badge. She then said “oh! It’s IS you. I didn’t recognize you at first, then you started talking and thought it was you but wasn’t sure. I had to see your badge to make sure. You’ve lost weight, haven’t you? I didn’t recognize you”.

Wow. I lost so much weight that someone didn’t recognize me. LOL