Year of Accountability…Part Deux

New year, new me. Ok that’s been used to death.  I don’t want a new me either. I’m happy with the current me. Still a work in progress but I need to hold myself accountable and keep on the right path. Let’s bring everyone up to speed.

January 2018. Started a new weight loss challenge at work. My scale said 195, the work scale said 200 which makes sense with my clothes and shoes. I’m for the most part low carb but then I give in to something that keeps me from getting into keto. Cookies, a chicken sandwich. I had a realization today: why work hard at doing low carb if I’m going to mess it up with one item of food?  All that hard work and then I let it go down the drain for something carby? Nope. Let’s reset the mind.

I’m still fitting into my clothes but they’re getting uncomfortable. The carbs bloat up my belly and then the pants get tight. So let’s put on the “big girl chonies” (metaphorically, of course) and face the truth: I need to be better and hold myself accountable. I am aiming to hit my goal this year and I am the only one who can do it. Me.

So meal prep is gonna happen. I already started doing it a few weeks back and it really works well for me. I have a few things at work in the fridge like heavy whipping creme and my sugar free chocolate creamer for when I need some extra coffee at work. I also have a jar of pickles so if I need something quick, that can get me through it. I’ve been sick and when I get sick, I crave carbs. I need to work on getting me through those episodes. I need to do this for me.

I turn 49 in about 3 weeks. I actually do enjoy aging. I’m a gamer so I think of it as “leveling up”. I think I look really great for my age. Plus it helps that I’ve always looked way younger than my actual age. I remember hitting 40 and thinking “I’m going to lose weight so I don’t go through my 40’s overweight”. That didn’t work out for me. So this year, my 49th, is extremely special because I’m on the path to enter my 50’s in the best shape of my life really. I deserve that and I realize I’m the only one who can do that for me.  I started working out. No big workout sessions, but squats, crunches, etc. Let me tell you, those 40 squats on day 1 made the next few days painful but I welcomed the pain because it reminded me that I am working on a better version of me.

I made one of those “now-then” pictures and posted it to my FB keto group. It’s what is keeping me going. I look at it and think “wow…I finally did that!”.  The pic on the left was a few years back. I took my kids to see snow for the first time and I took a picture with my son. I looked at it and realized that I was so HUGE. It was the first time I was confronted with an image of myself where I couldn’t believe I let myself get out of control. That picture is burned into my mind and I think of it when I think of straying now.  Here’s the pic:comparison

So I need to recommit to the “Year of Accountability”. I hit 198 on my scale this morning and I’m so mad at myself for letting it get that far.

I will not go back to the 200’s.

I will not let all my hard work go down the drain.

I will not give into bad habit.

I will not beat myself up and let defeat define me.

I WILL MOVE FORWARD TO BE THE PERSON I WANT TO BE.

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